Ok look. I’m just going to come out and say it. I missed last week because I was wrestling with these thoughts. (Not really but it sounds good) You ready for it?
I hate this Kevin Owens/Shane McMahon storyline.
It should have been over at SummerSlam. If Owens loses he had to quit but they should have made the quit stipulation for both men. The WWE Universe (™) was ready to be rid of Shane. They were aching for it like a hungry dog aches for a piece of raw bacon. They NEEDED Shane gone. But that, apparently, was never part of the deal.
Owens won at SummerSlam and we all thought there’d be less Shane McMahon. And when his music hit that first SmackDown back, Owens dropping to his knees, exasperated, was the same reaction we all, as wrestling fans, had. Why? Why does this need to continue? Now, don’t get me wrong, this was a fantastic heel move. Everyone thinks he’s gone, eh? Well, here he is! And I get it. I get why. Shane is a very good heel right now. Maybe not for the right reasons, but he’s getting the heat. However, what happened next was where my real issue lies.
As you probably know by now, during the Owens/McMahon match, McMahon appointed Elias as an “enforcer” in an official capacity and of course, during the match Owens had to deal with Elias physically. Fine, no issues there. But on that SmackDown Shane McMahon “fines” Owens the exorbitant sum of $100,000. Now, since this is Stone Cold Kevin Owens he was sure to run up that ramp and whoop that ass some more! Owens isn’t paying anyone that type of money! He’s too much of a badass, he’s too much of a rebel! Oh, by the way, several articles that week went out of their way to report that Kevin Owens said wasn’t the new Stone Cold Steve Austin. Interesting timing. I wonder why that happened.
Oh, I know. It’s because Kevin Owens buried his head in his hands and walked back to Shane McMahon’s locker to ask him to rescind the fine. Politely, mind you. Nevermind the monitor he broke. The next week on SmackDown, Owens once again politely approaches Shane about the fine, asking him to take it back. He has a family. He has kids. It’s a huge burden to him. Shane wants Owens to apologize to which Owens immediately does. Shane considers rescinding the fine as long as Owens behaves. Oh yeah, this is good shit, pal. Such good shit. Anyways, later that night Owens has a match with Elias for the King of the Ring qualifying round. Shane then shows up as a ring enforcer and after a referee bump Shane makes a fast count as Elias rolls Owens up and he loses.
Leave it to WWE to screw it all up.
Kevin Owens went from hottest badass on TV to bumbling, gullible, weak, and pathetic loser over the span of two shows. That’s great. That’s just super. Sure, this week he went out and kicked Elias’ ass but only because Shane “wasn’t there”. I hope this has a payoff, I really do. I like Kevin Owens a lot. One of my favorites in the company. When my 70 year old father and I talk wrestling, I’m constantly explaining to him why Kevin Owens is great. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t his fault. This is poor booking and poor writing. Listen, after hearing about the fine, Owens should have showed up in a LaBatte’s Bleu truck and smashed into Shane’s car or some crazy stunt. He shouldn’t be rolling over, begging not to pay a fine. “But Rem, this is like in real life! If you had to pay $100k you’d be sad too!” Okay, I see your point but I’ll raise you
“This professional wrestling! If I wanted real life I’d go watch whatever Dana White was promoting that month!”
Speaking of Elias. Putting the 24/7 Championship on him and then “suspending the rules” for the evening is lame. Elias doesn’t need it and it’s not like he’ll be in a meaningful program with Truth or Drake. The fun of that title is the wacky characters and the predicaments they put themselves in. It’s fun. It’s different. Why take that away from the audience, especially when it serves no real purpose?
This Roman Reigns “who dunnit” is tiring. First it’s someone. Then it’s a mistake. Then it’s someone again but it’s really no one. And now it might be someone but it could also be that no one but Daniel Bryan is pretty sure it was someone but got speared anyways. Listen, writing team, you can just give us Roman and Bryan. All you quite literally have to say is “Roman/Bryan at Clash of Champions for reasons” and we’re in. You didn’t need the convoluted nonsense that’s somehow the last segment of the last two SmackDown’s. Shout out to fellow columnist Zach Perez.
Please never let The Revival leave Randy Orton’s side. I love that and while we’re at it, bring back factions!
When did Dolph Ziggler become awesome like he is right now? He’s been amazing lately as the smarmy heel and I, for one, am here for it.
And finally, while I’m glad she’s back because the division needs her bad, that Sasha Banks promo this past Monday…oofff. I’ve never been a fan of her promo’s but here you could tell she was out of practice and uncomfortable. Maybe because she was bringing up actual events that happened but…yeah. They have to be careful with her, however. If they hotshot a feud with Becky Lynch it could really hurt both women. Becky is the hottest woman in the business right now and if she were to lose to a just returning superstar, maybe she’s not so hot. And Sasha can’t afford to lose that match either, considering her abysmal run of title defenses.
Okay, that’s enough for today. Thanks for reading and if you’re looking for more from me, check out my podcast, The Rich Dickman Show! We’re on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and all other podcast platforms. New episodes every Saturday where we talk about the silly things in life as men, fathers, and most importantly, human beings. Feel free to comment or hunt me down on Twitter – @RemDickman (I still have to change it on this website) – I would love to have an intelligent discussion with you. Until next time!