We’ve all seen the commercial. An overly muscular meat-head walks into the gym with a gallon jug of water and their body building shirt on. They have a vocabulary that consists of “I lift things up and put them down”. Sadly, the reason many of us find humor in this commercial is because of how close to reality this really is. Now I’m not suggesting that every over muscular person has the intelligence of a doorknob, but this commercial really does hit on one of the many gym etiquette issues that run rampant in gyms around the country. Let’s list just a few and see if you can relate.
The Gallon Jug Guy– Much like in the Planet Fitness commercial, this is the guy who spends more time staring in the mirror than doing any actual work. They tell others how they spend 2 hours at the gym today. What they don’t disclose is that during those 2 hours, 15 minutes of it was actually doing any kind of productive exercise. Now I’m not a doctor, but based on general knowledge, if you have to bring a GALLON size water jug to exercise, my guess is that you probably shouldn’t be exercising in the first place. I guess it’s supposed to “look cool”or show people how hard they work out, but logically speaking, bringing that much water to the gym suggests severe dehydration.
The Chatterbox– These people are the reason you stay at the gym much longer than you need to and interrupt your flow of a workout. Here’s a bit of social intelligence that these people lack. If you see someone with headphones on, this in all likelihood means their intentions aren’t to socialize with others. Now I’m not suggesting to be an anti-social prick while working out, but if the conversation you’re having lasts longer than 3 minutes then my guess is you’re not at the gym to exercise. I really don’t want to hear about every intricate detail you can recall about the last 4 years of your life while I’m trying not to die running 6 miles on the treadmill. And by the way, if there are 14 other free treadmills, don’t be a weirdo and choose the one right next to me. Something about that makes me want to pour boiling water on you and watch you fall off the treadmill.
The Sweaty Mess– Now let me preface this by saying I have nothing against super sweaty people exercising at the gym. On the contrary, that’s why you’re there. It means you’re busting your ass, doing what you’re supposed to and putting some effort in. However, that does not mean that you are above the “wipe down the machine after use” rule. Ever go up to a machine and you can see the glossy left-over sweat still sitting on the pad? Yep, I’m not your mother and/or maid so suck it up, walk 10 feet to the paper towel station and wipe off the germ filled sweat you decided to leave behind because maybe ‘No one will notice”. Be a big boy and girl and apply the concept your parents should have taught you at the age of 5 and clean up after yourself.
The Machine Hogger – No really, please continue to watch the Yankees game while sitting on the fly machine. Do a set, watch a couple innings, then maybe do another set. Or if you’d like, just sit there on your phone and text your boyfriend, do a half-hearted set and then continue to sit there. Tell me you haven’t seen this before? I have no problem if someone is actually USING the machine, but if you’re using it to stare at the girl at the machine next to you or watch TV; my suggestion is to use your couch at home. This can be especially frustrating if the gym is overcrowded and you just need to get a few sets in. The gym should hire a military drill instructor to go around and call out anyone just sitting at a machine that aren’t actually using it. Now that would be some motivation to not only put some effort in, but for entertainment value as a spectator.
The bottom line is, if you’re at the gym, realize you’re AT THE GYM. I’m not suggesting a military style culture be implemented, just some COMMON sense be used. If you’re there and putting some actual effort in, then I applaud you. And no, “lifting things up and putting them down” does not qualify as an acceptable workout description.
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